Scam Happens! Think First With Your Head - Then With Your Heart

Quality of the site is very important to us. We hate scam and do everything we can to prevent it here. But scammers are good at what they do and some get through the screens. It's sad that there are those who try to take advantage of people in this way.

Most Important!!:

ANYONE who asks for (or offers) money on a dating site for ANY reason is a SCAMMER! The excuses and reasons for needing money are amazingly diverse and creative! It may be for a sick relative, or to get them out of a legal jam in a foreign country, or they lost their wallet or passport while traveling, or their ex ran off with their money for rent or food for their children, or they need money to travel to visit you, or their car broke down and they can't come this weekend unless they get it fixed but they can't afford to pay for it until payday, or their flight to visit you suddenly got canceled and they need more money for an alternate travel plan, or they have or inherited a large amount of money and need a bank account to deposit it in your country, or they want to hire you for a job but need you to pay a certain travel company to come there, or they promise you a sexfull weekend but you need to pay for gas-bus-airline expenses ahead of time, or you have won a prize and need to send postage for mailing it, or your 'fabulous' photo has been chosen for a large billboard ad campaign and you need to send money and info to setup a portfolio, or they want to send you bogus cashiers checks to cash for them and then you send them the money for them, or they want to pay you a commission to take orders for online sales, then to collect the money and send to them, etc, etc. These are ALL SCAMS(!) and you will never see them or get your money back. You will spend a lot of time in regret of being duped and YOU may even get into trouble with your local law authority for some of these. REGARDLESS of what they tell you... sending them money will NOT 'help' you or anyone else... it will only subsidize a billion dollar a year illegal business and encourage this kind of internet abuse to continue. Don't Do It!

DON'T SEND MONEY or any info that is none of their business to gather!!

Be aware and Prevent Scam:

1) At ConnectingSingles, free onsite mailbox, chat and IM are provided to protect your anonymity. Use them and stay on the site for a while or until you feel VERY sure. Scammers will try to get you to communicate with them offsite quickly, away from the protection of site systems and member-reports that will eventually identify and expose them.

2) Don't be pressured to meet someone at another site that may be set up ONLY to tempt you with explicit or sexual photos IN ORDER TO gather your personal identity or credit card info for scam purposes.

3) Scam comes in many forms. It's sad to see how some website owners try shortcuts and scam other sites for free advertising. Sending someone to a site to solicit and draw members away with fake profiles is scam. It speaks poorly of their business ethics and is just plain tacky. Don't trust solicitors.

4) Don't give out personal info early-on. The email address or photos you send to an online stranger may be gathered for mailing lists (phishing) and misused for spam and scam. The 'real looking' photos they email TO you are likely the photos exchanged offsite with members like you who were encouraged to send the photos to the scammer after being promised a personal photo from the scammer in return.

5) Don't send private photos of yourself or family that might end up being used to
scam someone else.

6) Check out the following pages we created about dating scammers:

• Have you been scammed? Help us fight scammers!
  
• Current scams
  

7) Report them! We don't want anyone to get scammed. Read about the red flags on our scam-warning pages to become aware. Contact Us if you receive suspicious mail on the site. We encourage members to send reports, to protect other members, and to help in keeping scammers off of Connecting Singles.

8) Don't give up: Most people are honest and seeking someone special in their lives. But be extra leery of those who push you for your offsite email address, photos or personal info early-on, or who want to meet you at other URLs, or who get angry when you hesitate over their questionable requests. Trust your instincts. Don't be misled. We provide the features you need to get acquainted at ConnectingSingles without giving out your personal info...

Use the site to meet. Use caution to stay safe.

Online Dating, Scams, And How To Avoid Them

Many people have yet to grasp the reality that dating scams are not going away. You don't have to go online to be taken advantage of in love. Unfortunately, you can meet a dating scammer in any social setting.. in a bar or pub, at a singles party or dance class, on a cruise, in a social group or gathering, or at the gym. But the internet opens a whole new world for the very efficient groups of people who are completely devoted to tricking people into handing over their money to those they have misled to love and trust as their romantic partners. Most people say it could NEVER happen to them. But it can.

Rather than trying to hide the problem, at ConnectingSingles we strive to provide the safest environment possible. We believe that if our members are aware of the possibilities, they can beware of the problem and, therefore, prevent it before it even starts.

How do they work?

It all starts like an innocent online flirt, and in a surprisingly short amount of time and through a surprisingly few number of chats and emails, feelings grow progressively until the victim starts to feel an emotional attachment to the scammer. Usually the scammer will come up with an original and believable excuse for needing money. This can happen gradually or come out of the blue as a sudden emergency.

After the victim hands over the money, two things can happen: things can go BAD, or they can go WORSE.

When things go BAD:

When the scammer receives the money, he disappears, not to be seen online again.

Does this mean that this particular scammer is not going to scam again in the future? Unfortunately not! We never really get to meet the real identity of the scammer. We only knew his/her online persona. Once this is busted, s/he will create a new innocent-looking guy or girl and target the next victim.

When things go WORSE:

Believe it or not, the above scenario is not the worst.

If the scammer considers that there is more money to be ripped off this specific victim, s/he goes for more. S/he will make up new stories and new excuses to get the victim to keep handing over more and more money.

Unfortunately, due to the romantic connection that the victim thinks s/he is enjoying, s/he is already predisposed to believing the scammer's lies. Victims are typically kind and loving people who fall into 'taking care' of the scammer so naturally, without even thinking about what is really going on.

How can you protect yourself from scammers?

Unfortunately these people are good at what they do, otherwise they wouldn't be so successful at deceiving so many (often working on hundreds at one time). However, if you take into account some simple precautions, you can stay on the safe side of online dating:

• Refuse to send money for ANY reason! Repeat. NEVER SEND MONEY!
• Do not give your email to anyone you have just met. Scammers want your email address so they can communicate with you outside of the moderated environment we provide.
• More photos. Ask them to upload more photos to their profile showing them outside their home, inside their home, with the pet they told you about, with today's newspaper. Ask them to upload a photo of them next to their computer with the ConnectingSingles homepage or their profile open on the monitor. Most scammers use model's pictures they took from a modeling website or catalog. If they say they can't upload a photo to the site but will email it to you, remind them that if they can email the photo to you, they can also email or mail the photo to ConnectingSingles to be added to their profile for them free. Are you afraid your request may insult them, or they may get mad? You caution your children about things like this! Why should you not question an online stranger who you are considering taking into your life? And why should they get angry if they truly are as they have presented themselves?? Do you really want to get to know someone better who early-on gets mad at you over a simple reasonable request.
• Be patient. It takes time to find The One. Don't let anyone rush you. In the meantime while you're waiting for that to happen, make new friends on the site by posting in the forums, entering a journal in a ConnectingSingles blog, sending virtual cards and flowers, viewing or adding favorite youtube videos, taking or creating a quiz or a poll. There's lots to do at ConnectingSingles, and it's all totally free to do.
  

For a list of common warning signs check out our current scams page. We take preventing dating scam seriously at ConnectingSingles. More about dating scam in our next post.